


In a Heartbeat

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Gen, In a heartbeat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	In a Heartbeat

“Oh my god, Jayge, you have to watch it. It’s one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen and it has such a positive message. Every beautiful child should watch it, and frankly, I think it should be required viewing for all people.” Spencer heard Garcia rambling to JJ as she got off the elevator after coming back from lunch, but for the life of him, he couldn’t tell what she was referencing. “It’s a four minute long animated short that could easily be life-changing for someone who’s struggling with their sexuality.”

That caught Spencer’s attention. He’d never told anyone he was bisexual. There had never been a need in his eyes because he’d always had feelings for women, but one day last year he found himself developing a crush on the cute barista that worked behind the counter of his favorite coffee shop; he’d been crushed when he found out he was already seeing someone, but ever since, he’d been examining his feelings, wondering if they were a passing fancy, a sign of his loneliness, or possibly a true indication of his identity. He’d come to the conclusion that he definitely liked men too, but he’d never said anything to his friends, fearing they might look at him differently. 

While Garcia pulled JJ to the side to show her the video she loved so much, Spencer rolled a million thoughts around his big brain like they were in a tumble dryer. On the one hand, his team loved him. They fought for the rights of everyone on a daily basis, but what if one of them couldn’t handle the fact that he liked men too. Would Morgan see him differently? Hotch? Emily? He’d always been so afraid that they wouldn’t look at him the same way despite all the evidence to the contrary. Apparently, he’d been lost in his thoughts for about four minutes, because when he turned back around, JJ’s eyes were glazed over with tears. “That’s so beautiful.” She was fanning her eyes to dry the tears, which was definitely not her. That was a Garcia move. “Oh, I love that. I’m going to have to show that to Henry.”

The rest of the day went by as it normally did, with various teams in and out of the bullpen, tears, frustration, joy and hope. Even on paperwork days, there was always something going on, but through it all, Spencer couldn’t help but think about this little cartoon that apparently had something to do with sexuality. All day he found himself wanting to watch it, but he didn’t want to do it in front of anyone, so he decided to wait until he got home.

By the time he got home, he would’ve been embarrassed to confess how many hours he’d spent thinking about this little cartoon. It had been all day practically, with the exception of random conversations with Hotch and Emily. As he sat on the couch, his legs crossed in a heap in front of him, he pulled out his phone and searched for the cartoon Garcia had mentioned. It was something called In a Heartbeat.

The music started and immediately he felt a peace he couldn’t describe. The notes were joyous, sweet and hopeful. Watching as the little red-headed boy swooned over the boy he was crushing on made him feel like a kid again, realizing that love transcended childhood and adulthood. If you were lucky, you’d felt it in a ton of different ways, with a variety of people over the course of a lifetime. As a child, he’d been that way with girls, feeling as though they were so out of his league.

The boy’s heart started to beat out of his chest - literally. Spencer found the image so perfect, because although the phrase “my heart’s beating out of my chest,” tended to be a cheesy one, it could also be 100 percent true. When he’d seen the barista, his smile and the way his dimples rounded out his already perfect face, Spencer’s heart had done just that. The heart racing, the stupid grin, the blushing - all of it was spot on.

That little heart. It made Spencer want to smile until his face broke. The imagery was great. The object of his affections literally holding his heart in his hands. Even if he had plucked up the courage to talk to the barista, it wouldn’t have worked considering he was taken, but the little heart made Spencer want to confess his feelings the moment he had them for the next person that made him feel the same way. The little heart dragged the boy all over the place, through the dirt and bushes and towards the school and that’s when Spencer knew the little cartoon was going to get heavy before giving the audience the happy ending. 

The young boy’s fear had mirrored his own. Having people see him for who he truly was could be absolutely terrifying; he didn’t even want to think about what he would’ve done if he’d been struggling with these feelings in high school. As if he didn’t get his ass kicked enough. Spencer’s eyes started to water as the heart tried desperately to keep the two together, but the judgement caused him to rip his heart in half and run for cover - away from judgement and prying eyes. Tears fell onto the screen as the music turned somber for a moment. The redhead held his broken heart in his hands, but just as Spencer wiped his own tears away, the object of the young boy’s affections came back with the other piece of his heart in hand, with the cartoon ending with the boys sitting side by side, hopeful about what was to come. 

He wasn’t really sure how to feel, but Spencer knew that this little 4-minute long animated short spoke to him in a positive way. Getting up from the couch, he went to start dinner, all the while contemplating the meaning of the short in relation to his life. He wasn’t about to scream from the rooftops that he was bisexual, but maybe next time he saw a man that made his heart race, he’d allow his heart to pull him in that direction without fear of what anyone else would think.


End file.
